MY CHILD IS NOT STUDYING (AGE: 4 TO 10YEARS)

MY CHILD IS NOT STUDYING (AGE: 4 to 10 YEARS) 

This is one of the most common problems faced by parents. We live in a country where job security is decided by academic success ( Not always true), which is why we push our children towards education from early childhood. However, education cannot provide security of success in life.

Remember... We are worried about our children's future but we forgot to see that he or she is having their own life today. 

🔴 Is academics necessary in this age group?

This is the first question which needs to be answered by parents and school. Success of the person depends on intelligent quotient (Education) and Emotional quotient (Personality development). According to the Golman research, success of the person depends upon maximum on Emotional quotient (upto 80%) and less on intelligent quotient (upto 20%). This is the age of brain and skill development, so parents must focus on overall development of the child rather than only academic excellence. Read my book "BAL SANSKAR" to understand this concept where you will learn parenting in detail.

In short... Having high IQ is nice but having high EQ is best

❇️ If your child is not interested in the studies then....

🔹 No studies at home till 6 year of the age, only attending school is good enough

🔹 From 7 to 10 year, 30 to 60 minutes of self study without tution depending upon the interest of the child is good enough.

❇️ If your child is interested in studies without your pressure then..

🔹 No studies at home till 6 year of age 

🔹 Along with self study, make sure the child is spending at least 2 hours on ground or skill development like dance or music. (Physical activity) 

In short... Follow guidelines for the best result.

🔴 Why is my child not interested in studies?

Some children are blessed with the gift of good study habits while maximum children hate studying. 

❇️ Screen time

❇️ Stress in children 

❇️ Boring learning technique 

❇️ Disorganized during studies 

❇️ Unwilling to study 

❇️ Busy child 

❇️ High expectations 

❇️ Learning disability

❇️ Slow learner 

❇️ Developmental problem

In short... It is important to monitor the child and act accordingly when they demonstrate sign of disinterest in learning before they completely give up on studying

❇️ Screen time 

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 Mobile and video games have taken the place of playing outside and creativity in maximum children. If your child is not willing to sit in a train or restaurant without a mobile or iPad, there is a big problem. Nowadays, there is so much dependency on mobile phones that they can't stay away from mobile devices even for a few minutes. 

 In short... It is the most important and difficult parenting issue of modern time. 

🔳 Is my child using a cell phone addicted?

 If you see the following daily routine in your child, he or she is definitely affected by mobile phones... 

🔹 Reaching out to mobile whenever there is nothing to do or bored

🔹 Using mobile phone while watching TV 

🔹 Cannot spend time alone without mobile 

🔹 Fail to cut down mobile phone in spite of request 

Remember... Your children are mobile addicted if you feel they are overusing.

🔳 Mobile addiction causes poor concentration during study, feeling sleepy during class, don't like giving mobile for studies, poor eyesight, sleep disturbance - leading to poor performance in education. 

In short... Screen addiction has lead to multiple problems in children 

🔺 Role of parents

 Read my blog on this topic 

http://positiveparenting1208.blogspot.com/2020/06/is-your-child-addicted-to-mobile-causes.html

❇️ Stress in children 

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In last 20 year, we had seen increase in Psychosomatic problems, depression and even suicide in children. This is due to increased stress in children. 

🔹 Parental conflict leading to poor environmental condition at home 

🔹 Difference of opinion between family members leading to poor environmental condition at home 

🔹 Poor discipline technique causes stress in children. 

🔹 Overprotective parenting leading to poor self confidence 

🔹 Lack of playing on ground - leading to poor social & emotional development. Also causes poor logical and critical thinking skills. 

🔹 Nuclear family - lack of quality time for children from caretakers. 

🔹 Peer pressure from close friends forcing children to adopt bad habits. 

🔹 Overindulgence or providing everything to your child - self centered child.

In short... Children get spoiled when we substitute "Present or gift" for "Presence or time."

🔺 Role of parents

 Watch all this topic on our YouTube channel " Dr Ashish Agrawal."

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxDxtcS6j_NAzfGMklrDWAQ

❇️ Boring learning technique

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If your child is performing badly in spite of hard work, you should make sure that your child is avoiding poor study technique.

🔹 Learning to write in exam rather than understanding the concept 

🔹 Learning by repeating same thing again and again by using writing method or oral method to memorize them

🔹 Studying a single subject like history and hate Math 

🔹 Reading question & answer directly rather than reading test book. 

🔹 Memorizing grammar and Maths question answer rather than understanding the concept 

🔹 Studying for long period of time 

Remember... The secret of success depends on consistent hard work with proper technique

🔺 Role of parents 

Few children develop good study habits while maximum children struggle with poor study habits. Helping a child with poor educational technique will boost his or her morale.

Remember.... Children will do best in education if they are motivated with joy of learning. 

🔹 Create curiosity 

Curious children do well in educational & professional life. Nurturing curiosity in your kid is one of the most important ways you can help her become a lifelong learner. 

▪️Answer all the question ask by your kid according to their age

️Encourage kids to answer their own questions.

Example... If your 2 year child is seeing a bus ask what is this?. Rather than answering, you ask him "Tell me what do you think about that? "

▪️ Ask leading question to develop curiosity 

Example... Which side will the train go on if you are standing on another platform?

In short... Curiosity is the very basis of education

🔹 Learn to understand, not to score marks

▪️ Maximum parents in search of marks force their children to mug up the subject which might help to score good marks in primary school but fail to give results in higher classes. 

Remember.... If child develop passion for learning then he will never cease to grow

🔹 Develop proper learning technique 

There are four techniques for learning ...

▪️ Visual.. Children learn by seeing so you can use CD or YouTube 

▪️ Auditory .... Children learn by listening. 

# Listen to rhymes 

# Teach by telling stories 

# You can ask questions about what the teacher taught in class. 

▪️ Reading... This is the best technique. Motivate children to read test books rather than question / answer  or guide. After reading the test book.....

# You can ask question from the test book

# Make the Fill in the blanks type from the test book and ask the child to solve it. 

# Bring MCQ type questions from the shop and motivate the child to solve it. 

# For school exams, motivate children to write the answer in their own words.

▪️ Kinesthetic... Learn by doing themselves .

# They enjoy role playing,   building models, drawing diagrams or making flash cards. 

# If you are studying plants, you can motivate children to plant the tree.

 *In short...* Try to use all four techniques during primary school and let the child decide which technique is best for him.

🔹 Active recall technique 

▪️ Ask your child to speak in detail without using any book once he or she has completed one topic. 

▪️ You can involve two more families and one child will present the topic in front of others. 

▪️ The student will prepare topic in depth as he or she has to present topic in front of other children 

Remember... One time teaching is 3 time learning 

🔹 Make summary 

▪️ Motivate child to make summary of the topic without using book once he or she had finished the topic 

🔹 Intermittent revision 

️ Revision is important as it helps to develop long term memory. 

️ The best way is to do revision every Sunday for what he or she has learned during the last 6 days. 

▪️ Also, do revision every last Saturday and Sunday of the month for whatever he had learned during last month. 

Remember...  The secret of success is proper preparation and revision.

🔹 Examination 

▪️ If school is conducting an exam after each topic then avoid it at home. 

▪️ For languages 

# Ask child few question from book and motivate child to answer in that language 

▪️ For grammar 

# Make a question paper covering all topics in short and ask the child to solve it. 

▪️ For Science and Maths

# MCQ based paper work best

▪️ For Social science 

# Fill in the blanks is best

In short... What we learn with pleasure, we never forget.

❇️ Disorganized during studies

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Child will get distracted during self study by following..... 

🔹 If study place is full of noise or media

🔹 If books or material like pencil need to be used during studies is not available on study table 

🔹 Poor ventilation or light in study room

🔹 If child get up during self study for drinking water etc

In short.... You can't do big things if you're distracted by small things

🔺 Role of parents 

▪️ Try to find a quiet, distraction free place to work. 

▪️ Arrange everything like water or study material before schedule time. 

▪️ Ask child to drink water or fresh up before schedule time 

▪️ Make sure that there is no social media or television at the studying place.

▪️ It is better to sit with a child during studies if he keeps moving for silly reasons during self study. 

In short.... Be motivation to your child, not distraction 

❇️ Unwilling to study 

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Some children refuse to study makes parents irritable and worrisome.

🔹 No time table 

If your child is not having any time table then he will like to watch TV or mobile or play the whole day even if you call for self study. 

🔹 Studying alone leads to helplessness 

When child find no caretaker around while studying, they start get tired and doesn't feel like studying  

🔹 Studying without purpose 

Some parents motivate their child by telling them that it is important to study and get good marks for future success. 

🔹 Identify the problem 

Write down what your kid like and don't like 

Motivate child to write down or discuss with you regarding what he like & dislike about school and studies 

▪️ If a child is struggling with weakness in a few subjects, it will demotivate him in that subject ultimately leading to disinterest in studies. 

▪️ Bullying 

It is a common problem in school. Some children may target your kid to establish their supremacy this your kid may get demoralized.

▪️Feeling sleepy during class or self study due to lack of proper sleep at night.

🔹 Poor discipline technique 

If a child is not rewarded for good effort or given proper punishment then the child won't follow rules set by the family. 

🔹 Poor friend circle 

If your kid friends are not interested in studies then it will demotivate him for studies 

🔺 Role of parents 

🔹 Establish a set routine 

If a child is aware of the daily schedule, it becomes easier for the child to get motivated for self study. If possible, make sure study time is before other activities like playing or watching TV. 

Remember...  Perfect time table will change your according to it

🔹 Sit with your kid

The best thing you can do is to sit with kids when they sit for studying. Avoid mobile or TV, instead do pending work or help him or read a book. 

 *In short...*  The greatest gift you can give to your child is quality time 

🔹 Instead of motivating children to study for future success, you can motivate them by giving practical use of the subject in the current situation. Maths will help them for shopping or language will boost their confidence while participating in debate.

🔹 Solve the problem 

Solve all problems after discussion with the child. 

▪️ If a child is weak in a particular subject, try to solve it by teaching yourself or with the help of teachers. 

▪️ If someone is bullying your kid, motivate him to tackle the problem on his own. If not possible then consult school administration including class teacher.

▪️  If there is a problem like he feels sleepy in school....Increase sleep time.

In short.. Be part of solution, not problem 

🔹 Proper discipline technique 

▪️ Reward for good effort not result 

Motivate children by giving 10 points for completing the daily schedule. If he collects 500 points, you can provide snacks or breakfast at his favorite place.

▪️ Teach consequences

You can punish a child for not completing their daily schedule by switching off TV on that day. Make sure that no one is watching TV on that day. But avoid punishing for getting less marks. 

▪️ Respect feeling 

#  If a child wants to avoid studying to watch a favorite match or playing outside, respect his feelings. 

#  Sometimes, children don't feel like studying... Respect it

#  If a child is repeatedly asking for the same privilege for unknown reasons, you can refuse it. 

Remember... Discipline is the bridge between goal and accomplishments 

🔹 Look at your child friend circle 

If your child friends aren't very good at studying or studying then it will definitely influence your kid. Watch this video to know causes and prevention. 

https://youtu.be/HKlcPOXwGR4

❇️ Busy child syndrome 

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Maximum children are too busy... 

🔹 Get up at 6.30am

🔹 Go to school around 7.30am and come back around 3pm

🔹 Refreshment for 1 hour, sometimes children are forced to study during this time also. 

🔹 Go to Tuition from 4pm to 7pm

🔹 Play video games or watch TV for 1 hour 

🔹 Self study for 1 hour and go to bed after dinner and using mobile around 11pm. 

It is the duty of parents to find balance between school, activities and play (Not mobile). It can mean the difference between a well adjusted child and a stressed out one. 

In short... Don't handicap your child by keeping busy in studies. 

🔳 Symptoms of busy child syndrome 

🔹 Your child is tired a lot. 

🔹 Child is not having time to play on the ground. 

🔹 Psychosomatic problems like headache, vomiting or abdominal pain 

🔹 Child is sleeping for 2 hours more on holidays compare to school days

🔹 Child is having sleeping problems like crying or shouting during sleep 

🔹Such children are shy in nature and do not want to mix or participate in extracurricular activities. 

In short... These symptoms are easy to spot on but overlooked by parents. 

🔺 Role of parents 

▪️ Make sure that your child is able to balance between school, self study, personality development and leisure. 

▪️ This is the age of personality development so make sure that the child is spending adequate time playing on the ground and learning new skills like dance. 

▪️ Maximum time for self study should be around 1 hour including homework and Tution till  10 year of age. 

Remember.... Balance is key to everything 

❇️ High expectations 

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Research has revealed both positive and negative aspects of parental pressure on children for academic excellence. It can definitely help children to improve academic success if parental pressure is realistic but over ambitious parenting (Unrealistic expectations) can be poisonous.

Remember... Don't try to make your child a superhero.

🔳 Role of parents

🔹 Develop your child as per skill

◼️ If Virat Kohli father had force him to become Doctor then everyone know what would have happened.

◼️ Always develop your child as per skill and talent. 

🔹 Realistic expectations

◼️ If your child is scoring 65% then target 70% instead of 90% in next exam.

🤞 To know more details on this topic, watch my video on overambitious parenting.......

https://youtu.be/mmMSgQYojxk

❇️ Learning disability 

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It affects upto 10% of children in the world. If your child is struggling with studies from early childhood, then we must suspect learning disability. It is basically atypical brain development causing problems like dyslexia (difficult in reading), dyscalculia (difficult in Maths), dysgraphia (difficult in writing). 

In short... The problem is not big issue but our attitude and ignorance is biggest problem 

🔳 Symptoms of learning disability 

These children have normal intelligence and do well orally in studies.

🔹 Difficult in writing, reading or calculations 

🔹 Confuse between similar alphabet (b & d) or number (6 & 9).

🔹 Poor handwriting or cannot write on a line properly 

🔹 Difficult in doing work with hand like catching the ball, cutting or tie lace of the shoes

🔹 Easily loses school books or pencil 

🔹 Has difficult to understand the concept of time.

Remember... Learning disability is not sign of low intelligence, usually they are very creative 

🔺 Role of parents

🔹 Consult your paediatrician

🔹 Need rehabilitation

❇️ Slow learner 

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These children have Intelligence quotients less than normal but no mental retardation. Such children have little bit delayed milestones like Neck holding after 6 month or walking at 18 month of age or delayed speech which is acceptable in India. Also they appear to be normal and very cooperative in school & home, but poor in studies & extracurricular activities. 

Remember... Don't ignore the problem as it may lead to bigger problems.

🔳 Symptoms

🔹 Delayed milestone

🔹 Prefer company of younger children

🔹Poor academics as well as oral

🔹 Takes time to learn new things

Remember... Such children do not have disability, requires special education

🔺 Role of parents

🔹 Consult your paediatrician

🔹 Need rehabilitation

❇️ Neurodevelopmental problems 

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Neurodevelopmental problems such as Attention deficit hyperactive disease or Autism spectrum disorder in children is a common problem. Usually these children have normal motor milestones like walking around 1 year of age and appear to be normal. Again very difficult to diagnose such a problem due to normal appearance and ignorance of parents & teachers.

Remember... Maximum children remain undiagnosed till 6 to 10 year of age. 

🔳 Symptoms 

🔶 ADHD

🔹 Hyperactive child 

🔹 Difficult sitting still 

🔹 Poor concentration in class 

🔹 Seem not listening when directly addressed 

🔹 Unpredictable in behavior 

🔶 Autism spectrum disorder 

🔹 Poor language development 

🔹 Poor eye contact 

🔹 Does not mix with other children 

Remember... It is never too late to diagnose such a problem.

🔺 Role of parents

🔹 Consult your paediatrician

🔹 Need rehabilitation

Dr Ashish Agrawal 

7057551985, 8888126037